*** Spoiler Warning - If you haven't read "The Shack" and plan to, do read this blog*****
I just finished reading "The Shack" and thought that it was pretty amazing. I'm not saying that just because it was a good read and kept my attention or because everyone else has said that they really enjoyed it. I have to say that part of me just read it because I wanted to know what all the hype was about, but my sister and I bought it for my mom for Christmas and she recommended it to me when I was home for Spring Break - so I read it; that's what a 6 hour drive back to Atlanta from St. Augustine will do for you :)
But once I started reading it, I never wanted to put it down - which is hard when you have classes to attend, chapel requirements to meet, lesson plans to write and trying to have a social life. But I found the time to just sit down and read - which meant turning off the television and curling up on the couch with my book.
Now after reading it, it changes my view of God. I think I have always thought of the stereotypical God and Jesus. You know what I am talking about - dark hair and eyes, tall, rather handsome and strong; and God always came into my mind as being male and huge and powerful. But when Mack heads to the shack, he encounters God, but in a way you would never expect. God appeared to Mack as a black woman - this totally threw me for a loop when I read that. I was just like "What! God isn't female!" But God explains to Mack, that God appears to us in the form we need and for Mack, that was a warm and loving female. So I began to wonder about the forms God appears to me....and have kinda drawn a blank - which I am not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad one. I know that God has answered my prayers in forms of an action, but as far as actually meeting God, I am not sure that I have done that.
Another part of the book that really spoke out to me was a conversation between Jesus and Mack. Mack comments that he wants a love that Jesus, God, and Sarayu have, but Jesus tells him that there are obstacles in his way that are not allowing him to have a love like that. The main obstacle Jesus spoke of was Mack. Mack asks the question "Is there any way out of this?" and Jesus says the following: "It is so simple, but never easy for you. By re-turning. By turning back to me. By giving up your ways of power and manipulation and just come back to me. Women, in general, will find it difficult to turn from a man and stop demanding that he meets their needs, provides security, and protects their identity, and return to me. Men, in general, find it very hard to turn from the works of theirs hands, their own quests for power and security and significance, and return to me." I was completely blown away by that paragraph! I mean, all I have to do is give up my need for a man in my life to be my security blanket and that I should turn back to God and allow him to be my security blanket. If only it wasn't that hard for a control freak like myself to give that up. Sunday, the sermon was about dying to one's self and becoming a seed in a garden that is fruitful. All I could think about Sunday was how I need to give up my control.
Another paragraph that caught my attention was when Mack posed the following question to Jesus, "You're not too fond of religion and institutions?" Jesus replies by saying, "I don't create institutions - never have, never will." So Mack asks, "What about the institution of marriage?" Jesus says, "Marriage is not an institution. It's a relationship. Like I said, I don't create institutions; that's an occupation for those who want to play God. So, no, I'm not too big on religion, and not very fond of politics or economics either. And why should I be? They are the man-created trinity of terrors that ravages the earth and deceives those I care about. What mental turmoil and anxiety does any human face that is not related to one of those three?" All I could think was OMG!!! I could never picture Jesus actually saying those words. Don't get me wrong, I believe every word that is up there, but just never really imagined Jesus saying them. Then I thought about how true it is that all we worry about is politics, economics, and religion. Those three cause stress, arguments, divorce, etc. I thought about how much I worry about those things and it's ridiculous. I can't believe how much my life revolves around those three issues!
So needless to say, I really learned a lot from this book. It has changed the way I view God and how he reaches out to his children when they need them. I have also learned that the things I focus on the most should not be on my top ten list and that I need to get some things straight in my life before I try to help out anyone else. :)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
My Control
As we sang the song "Unashamed Love" at Sunday Nights at school, the opening lines really caught my attention:
"You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day. To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place."
This is one of my biggest faults - and incidentally it has also become a health problem for me. My doctor says that I am so stressed out that my body doesn't know how to handle it anymore. How crazy is that?!
For the past week or so I have been reading this book called "Making Stress Work for You." It's an older book, probably written in like the 1980's or something - but my dad says that the concepts are really good; so, he gave it to me to read. Surprisingly, the concepts really are good and helpful. I am only in like chapter 4 or 5, but I have learned a lot from it. The theme of the book is really about letting go and letting God.
But as I sang that song tonight I began to think about much my stress level affects me - it affects my physical health, my mental health, my relationships, my school work. It affects EVERYTHING - even my relationship with God. Then I thought, well how much different could everything be if I just gave it over to God and didn't stress about anything anymore. He is calling me, telling me, pleading with me to give it to him to carry because he knows that it is too heavy for me to carry on my own. But I am stubborn and won't do it. For some reason I have to carry my silly burden of stress around - I think it's all about my having to be in control of everything all the time. And as much as I want to lay aside my worries and quiet down my busy mind, I can't. Or more so I won't. I can't reason with myself that my life would be so much better if I just gave it to God - and less stressful :) But doing that would mean relinquishing control and that's a scary thought for a control freak like myself.
My boyfriend was joking around with me last week about how I need to learn how not to be in control. But I think that was God's way of saying, "Hey, Audra, take a hint.....give it to me"
I hate "Ah ha" moments like this because it means that I have to give up something I don't want to. So my goal for this upcoming week is to relinquish the control of my stress. I am going to do as the song says and "quiet down my busy mind" by giving it to God.
So God, help me to give up my stress and my worries to you. Help me to learn how to let you carry it all and for me to just give all control to you. I pray that I will use this week to start giving my stresses to you and that through this I will have a healthier life and relationship with you.
"You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day. To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place."
This is one of my biggest faults - and incidentally it has also become a health problem for me. My doctor says that I am so stressed out that my body doesn't know how to handle it anymore. How crazy is that?!
For the past week or so I have been reading this book called "Making Stress Work for You." It's an older book, probably written in like the 1980's or something - but my dad says that the concepts are really good; so, he gave it to me to read. Surprisingly, the concepts really are good and helpful. I am only in like chapter 4 or 5, but I have learned a lot from it. The theme of the book is really about letting go and letting God.
But as I sang that song tonight I began to think about much my stress level affects me - it affects my physical health, my mental health, my relationships, my school work. It affects EVERYTHING - even my relationship with God. Then I thought, well how much different could everything be if I just gave it over to God and didn't stress about anything anymore. He is calling me, telling me, pleading with me to give it to him to carry because he knows that it is too heavy for me to carry on my own. But I am stubborn and won't do it. For some reason I have to carry my silly burden of stress around - I think it's all about my having to be in control of everything all the time. And as much as I want to lay aside my worries and quiet down my busy mind, I can't. Or more so I won't. I can't reason with myself that my life would be so much better if I just gave it to God - and less stressful :) But doing that would mean relinquishing control and that's a scary thought for a control freak like myself.
My boyfriend was joking around with me last week about how I need to learn how not to be in control. But I think that was God's way of saying, "Hey, Audra, take a hint.....give it to me"
I hate "Ah ha" moments like this because it means that I have to give up something I don't want to. So my goal for this upcoming week is to relinquish the control of my stress. I am going to do as the song says and "quiet down my busy mind" by giving it to God.
So God, help me to give up my stress and my worries to you. Help me to learn how to let you carry it all and for me to just give all control to you. I pray that I will use this week to start giving my stresses to you and that through this I will have a healthier life and relationship with you.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Could of had a V8
Have you ever seen the V8 commercials where someone does something stupid and the other person hits them in the head and says, "You could of had a V8"? Well, I had one of those V8 moments.
I was in bed and had just finished praying. I had asked and thanked God for many things, but one just stuck with me - hence why I am writing this.
Over Christmas break, God taught me many things. One of which was how important my friends and family are to me. Now this is something I have always known. My friends and family are the most important people in my life - besides Christ. But last night I think I finally realized how blessed I am to have the family and friends that I have and I take that for granted....along with a million other things.
One of my roommates and I were talking last week about a girl she mentors at her church - I won't go into details about what was said, but we talked about families. I sat there and realized how much I take for granted that fact that I grew up in a home with two parents who love each other deeply and have remained faithful to one another for the 25 years they have been married. So many other children out there weren't blessed to grow up in the surroundings that I did.
I have parents who love and support me; a sister who I have the privilege to call my best friend; I have friends that genuinely care for me; I am able to find the means to go to college and earn an education; I have a car that works; I have a job, a roof over my head, and food to eat; I have the money to buy things that are going to be useless to be in me in about 6 months or so; I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with; I have my own computer and cell phone; I don't have any life-threatening diseases; I live in a country where I am no persecuted for my faith, gender, or race; and ultimately, I have the love and mercy of a God who loves me despite that fact that I screw things up every now and then.
So what do I have to complain about?.....
......NOTHING!
I was in bed and had just finished praying. I had asked and thanked God for many things, but one just stuck with me - hence why I am writing this.
Over Christmas break, God taught me many things. One of which was how important my friends and family are to me. Now this is something I have always known. My friends and family are the most important people in my life - besides Christ. But last night I think I finally realized how blessed I am to have the family and friends that I have and I take that for granted....along with a million other things.
One of my roommates and I were talking last week about a girl she mentors at her church - I won't go into details about what was said, but we talked about families. I sat there and realized how much I take for granted that fact that I grew up in a home with two parents who love each other deeply and have remained faithful to one another for the 25 years they have been married. So many other children out there weren't blessed to grow up in the surroundings that I did.
I have parents who love and support me; a sister who I have the privilege to call my best friend; I have friends that genuinely care for me; I am able to find the means to go to college and earn an education; I have a car that works; I have a job, a roof over my head, and food to eat; I have the money to buy things that are going to be useless to be in me in about 6 months or so; I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with; I have my own computer and cell phone; I don't have any life-threatening diseases; I live in a country where I am no persecuted for my faith, gender, or race; and ultimately, I have the love and mercy of a God who loves me despite that fact that I screw things up every now and then.
So what do I have to complain about?.....
......NOTHING!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The road less traveled
For the past week and a half I have been challenged to "encounter Christ". It started two Sundays ago when the pastor started a new sermon series entitled Encounter Christ. On my drive home for Christmas break, God really grabbed ahold of me.
As I sit here almost 2 weeks later, and on the eve of Christmas, I realize all the lessons God wanted me to learn this past two weeks. I have learned to cherish time with my people, I have realized how important my friends, what I need to lay aside in my life, how much I really do love my boyfriend, and ultimately where God is in my life.
I am proud of the road I decided to take. Not many 20 year olds can say that they gave up two weeks of a lot of things to get right with God. I'm not going to lie and say it was an easy road - Lord knows that it wasn't. But nevertheless, God was there to walk with me, and sometimes carry me. I was reminded of a poem I memorized in 6th grade to recite in my English class. It is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. The last few lines of this poem will never leave my memory - and that is probably a good thing.
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This poem will probably be my favorite poem of all time and will remain that way until the day I die. I like to think I choose the road less traveled by...maybe to some I didn't. But that is for God to decide.
God,
I thank you for giving me the wake-up call that my life needed. I thank you for the lessons learned and pray that I will not forget them. I thank you on this Christmas Eve for sending your Son to save me, even though I never deserved it. Thank you for standing at my door and knocking until I finally gained the courage and strength to open it and let you in. Thank you for loving me!
As I sit here almost 2 weeks later, and on the eve of Christmas, I realize all the lessons God wanted me to learn this past two weeks. I have learned to cherish time with my people, I have realized how important my friends, what I need to lay aside in my life, how much I really do love my boyfriend, and ultimately where God is in my life.
I am proud of the road I decided to take. Not many 20 year olds can say that they gave up two weeks of a lot of things to get right with God. I'm not going to lie and say it was an easy road - Lord knows that it wasn't. But nevertheless, God was there to walk with me, and sometimes carry me. I was reminded of a poem I memorized in 6th grade to recite in my English class. It is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. The last few lines of this poem will never leave my memory - and that is probably a good thing.
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This poem will probably be my favorite poem of all time and will remain that way until the day I die. I like to think I choose the road less traveled by...maybe to some I didn't. But that is for God to decide.
God,
I thank you for giving me the wake-up call that my life needed. I thank you for the lessons learned and pray that I will not forget them. I thank you on this Christmas Eve for sending your Son to save me, even though I never deserved it. Thank you for standing at my door and knocking until I finally gained the courage and strength to open it and let you in. Thank you for loving me!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Family
As I laid in bed last night, I had a hard time falling asleep...my mind kept wondering. Recently I have started keeping my cell phone in my room that way I am not always waiting for it to go off. It has made my life interesting. I never realized how dependent I was on my cell phone. It's crazy! I should not revolve my life around a silly phone. So I have been keeping it in my room and trying to stay out of my room as much as possible - this way I don't sit around on my computer all day too.
Since doing this I have been able to spend more time with my family, which is a blessing. Yesterday I was able to just goof around with my sister and my parents. Rachel is a junior in high school and I missed out on the most important things of her time in high school. So this Christmas break I am vowing to spend more time with her. It's going to be a blast! I am so excited.
God, I pray that you will bless the time I spend with my sister. Thank you for allowing me to wake up and realize what is most important in my life and what isn't. It has made a huge difference in my life!
Since doing this I have been able to spend more time with my family, which is a blessing. Yesterday I was able to just goof around with my sister and my parents. Rachel is a junior in high school and I missed out on the most important things of her time in high school. So this Christmas break I am vowing to spend more time with her. It's going to be a blast! I am so excited.
God, I pray that you will bless the time I spend with my sister. Thank you for allowing me to wake up and realize what is most important in my life and what isn't. It has made a huge difference in my life!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friends
I think that one thing God is trying to tell me is that my friends are important to me. I don't think that I have been paying much attention to my friendships and therefore, they are lacking. I get caught up in all I have to do that I don't think I am taking the time out of my day to sit down and ask my friends, "How are you?" and really mean it. The past two days I have spent two hours talking to the two girls I consider to be my best friends. It's been great! They call to check up on me and make sure I am ok during this rough road I am walking down. But we don't just talk about me. We check up on each other - make sure both of us are ok and enjoying our break.
Friends have always been a very vital part of my life. I confess.....I am a people pleaser. So I have always had a huge group of friends around me. But until I started college I don't think I really knew what a friend was. In high school I had a ton of friends, but nothing like I have now. My friends from ACC are wonderful...I would really be lost without them.
So, God I thank you for my friends. I thank you for blessing me with such wonderful friends who take time out of their busy and crazy lives to check up on me. I pray that you will bless them and let them know that I love them so much!
Friends have always been a very vital part of my life. I confess.....I am a people pleaser. So I have always had a huge group of friends around me. But until I started college I don't think I really knew what a friend was. In high school I had a ton of friends, but nothing like I have now. My friends from ACC are wonderful...I would really be lost without them.
So, God I thank you for my friends. I thank you for blessing me with such wonderful friends who take time out of their busy and crazy lives to check up on me. I pray that you will bless them and let them know that I love them so much!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Laying down my pride
So yesterday, as I was listening to one of my Jeremy Camp cd's I came across this song and the lyrics just screamed out to me. Here they are:
Every single word I say
You know it before I speak
You know every thought the deepest part of me
You draw me closer than I see
Your presence is every thing I need to be the child that you've created me to be
I'm ready now to see it your way
[Chorus]
I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through ignoring you
Now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride
I was faced with passing time but I knew the choice was mine
To finally come to you and give you all control
I've wandered miles to find my way and then you revealed this simple faith
I know that you can see the secrets of my soul
[Bridge]
The cross
The blood you shed for me
Your back was ripped and bruised so I can know your love
I kneel I bow to you my King
As I was listening to this song, I kept thinking that the chorus was my prayer to God.
I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through ignoring you
Now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride
This is what I have been thinking for the past few days. Laying down all that is me and gaining what is God.
So here I am God, I am laying down my pride, fears, desires, stresses, everything. I am laying them down at your cross and letting you come in the door of my heart. I want you to change me from the inside out. I want you to make me the child that you created me to be. So they are all yours God; not mine. They are at the foot of your cross and that is where I am leaving them.
Every single word I say
You know it before I speak
You know every thought the deepest part of me
You draw me closer than I see
Your presence is every thing I need to be the child that you've created me to be
I'm ready now to see it your way
[Chorus]
I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through ignoring you
Now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride
I was faced with passing time but I knew the choice was mine
To finally come to you and give you all control
I've wandered miles to find my way and then you revealed this simple faith
I know that you can see the secrets of my soul
[Bridge]
The cross
The blood you shed for me
Your back was ripped and bruised so I can know your love
I kneel I bow to you my King
As I was listening to this song, I kept thinking that the chorus was my prayer to God.
I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through ignoring you
Now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride
This is what I have been thinking for the past few days. Laying down all that is me and gaining what is God.
So here I am God, I am laying down my pride, fears, desires, stresses, everything. I am laying them down at your cross and letting you come in the door of my heart. I want you to change me from the inside out. I want you to make me the child that you created me to be. So they are all yours God; not mine. They are at the foot of your cross and that is where I am leaving them.
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