The road less traveled

For the past week and a half I have been challenged to "encounter Christ". It started two Sundays ago when the pastor started a new sermon series entitled Encounter Christ. On my drive home for Christmas break, God really grabbed ahold of me.

As I sit here almost 2 weeks later, and on the eve of Christmas, I realize all the lessons God wanted me to learn this past two weeks. I have learned to cherish time with my people, I have realized how important my friends, what I need to lay aside in my life, how much I really do love my boyfriend, and ultimately where God is in my life.

I am proud of the road I decided to take. Not many 20 year olds can say that they gave up two weeks of a lot of things to get right with God. I'm not going to lie and say it was an easy road - Lord knows that it wasn't. But nevertheless, God was there to walk with me, and sometimes carry me. I was reminded of a poem I memorized in 6th grade to recite in my English class. It is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. The last few lines of this poem will never leave my memory - and that is probably a good thing.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

This poem will probably be my favorite poem of all time and will remain that way until the day I die. I like to think I choose the road less traveled by...maybe to some I didn't. But that is for God to decide.

God,

I thank you for giving me the wake-up call that my life needed. I thank you for the lessons learned and pray that I will not forget them. I thank you on this Christmas Eve for sending your Son to save me, even though I never deserved it. Thank you for standing at my door and knocking until I finally gained the courage and strength to open it and let you in. Thank you for loving me!

Family

As I laid in bed last night, I had a hard time falling asleep...my mind kept wondering. Recently I have started keeping my cell phone in my room that way I am not always waiting for it to go off. It has made my life interesting. I never realized how dependent I was on my cell phone. It's crazy! I should not revolve my life around a silly phone. So I have been keeping it in my room and trying to stay out of my room as much as possible - this way I don't sit around on my computer all day too.

Since doing this I have been able to spend more time with my family, which is a blessing. Yesterday I was able to just goof around with my sister and my parents. Rachel is a junior in high school and I missed out on the most important things of her time in high school. So this Christmas break I am vowing to spend more time with her. It's going to be a blast! I am so excited.

God, I pray that you will bless the time I spend with my sister. Thank you for allowing me to wake up and realize what is most important in my life and what isn't. It has made a huge difference in my life!

Friends

I think that one thing God is trying to tell me is that my friends are important to me. I don't think that I have been paying much attention to my friendships and therefore, they are lacking. I get caught up in all I have to do that I don't think I am taking the time out of my day to sit down and ask my friends, "How are you?" and really mean it. The past two days I have spent two hours talking to the two girls I consider to be my best friends. It's been great! They call to check up on me and make sure I am ok during this rough road I am walking down. But we don't just talk about me. We check up on each other - make sure both of us are ok and enjoying our break.

Friends have always been a very vital part of my life. I confess.....I am a people pleaser. So I have always had a huge group of friends around me. But until I started college I don't think I really knew what a friend was. In high school I had a ton of friends, but nothing like I have now. My friends from ACC are wonderful...I would really be lost without them.

So, God I thank you for my friends. I thank you for blessing me with such wonderful friends who take time out of their busy and crazy lives to check up on me. I pray that you will bless them and let them know that I love them so much!

Laying down my pride

So yesterday, as I was listening to one of my Jeremy Camp cd's I came across this song and the lyrics just screamed out to me. Here they are:

Every single word I say
You know it before I speak
You know every thought the deepest part of me
You draw me closer than I see
Your presence is every thing I need to be the child that you've created me to be
I'm ready now to see it your way

[Chorus]
I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through ignoring you
Now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride

I was faced with passing time but I knew the choice was mine
To finally come to you and give you all control
I've wandered miles to find my way and then you revealed this simple faith
I know that you can see the secrets of my soul

[Bridge]
The cross
The blood you shed for me
Your back was ripped and bruised so I can know your love
I kneel I bow to you my King

As I was listening to this song, I kept thinking that the chorus was my prayer to God.

I lay down my pride
My desires my demise
I'm ready now to see it your way
I'm done I'm through ignoring you
Now it's true
I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace
Lay down my pride

This is what I have been thinking for the past few days. Laying down all that is me and gaining what is God.

So here I am God, I am laying down my pride, fears, desires, stresses, everything. I am laying them down at your cross and letting you come in the door of my heart. I want you to change me from the inside out. I want you to make me the child that you created me to be. So they are all yours God; not mine. They are at the foot of your cross and that is where I am leaving them.

Encountering Christ

So today is the second day of many things: my Christmas Break, being alone all day, not talking to my boyfriend, and getting my life in order.

I never realized how hard this was going to be for me. It's hard for me to not to hear from him and to know how his day is going and to hear that he missed me. I miss hearing his voice. But I know that this something I have and need to do right now. After talking things out with a few friends, I feel encouraged and know that I will be able to make it through this. How can I not make it through? I have God on my side and that is what is going to get me through this time.

My goal for the next week or so is to get my life in order - to get my priorities where God wants them, not where I want them. My goal is to make God the center of my life, my focus. Ultimately he is the goal; he is what I am striving for. I think my life has been clogged up with focusing on school, getting good grades, my health, friends, family, the stresses of being 20 years old, and my boyfriend. G0d was finally able to grab my attention and asked, "What about me? Where do I fall in your life?"

So that's where I am right now; trying to figure out where God falls in my life. I realize that I need to be head over heels in love with Christ. I need to learn to rely on him fully - to give him my worries, fears, stresses, joys, everything.

It all started Sunday at church when the pastor started a new series entitled "Encountering Christ." Basically, he spilled himself out to the congregation and shared what he was going through right now and how he needed to encounter Christ. Ever since Sunday, I have been thinking that not only do I need to encounter Christ, but I want to. So that's my goal for my Christmas Break - to encounter Christ. And in order for me to do that, I have to give up some things. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life and at times I don't feel like I am going to make it. But I just keep telling myself that with God on my side, I can do anything.

So that's my life right now. Getting my life in order so that God is number one! It's going to be a hard road to travel down, but it won't get lonely and I will travel down it till it stops and God is where he needs to be in my life.